


Tales of drunken stupidity

by Serameli



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Drabble, Drunken Shenanigans, Multi, Not my best but still funny, References to Sex, oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serameli/pseuds/Serameli
Summary: “What’s the most stupid thing you’ve done while drunk?”
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19
Collections: Torchwood Fan Fests: 2021 Femslash Fest





	Tales of drunken stupidity

It was one of those days, when, after a period of manic Rift activity, nothing happens. Nobody’s sure if it’s all over, or if, like Vesuvius, it’ll all start up again the moment they let their guard down. So they were stuck in the hub, bored out their wits, contemplating finding some alcohol to pass the time. Eventually, Gwen starts asking asking questions as a form of entertainment.

“What’s the most stupid thing you’ve done while drunk?”  
Jack swung around in his swivel chair, deep in thought.  
“Hmm, the most recent one would be the time I tried to give Ianto a lap dance in a swivel chair. I missed his lap and fell on my ass”  
“And if I recall correctly you sent me sailing into a table”  
“I did apologise, Ianto. Maybe you should go next”  
Ianto blushed slightly   
“Probably the time I tried to kiss a hat stand with Jack’s coat on it because it smelled like him”  
Owen briefly stopped his endless assault of paper clips aimed at Gwen’s magnetic pen pot to contribute   
“Eh, we’ve all done that, I went at it with a mannequin once. It didn’t even have a head.”  
This is when Tosh decided to pipe up  
“I think it would be the time I forgot bannoffee pie had banana in it”  
“How did you forget? It’s literally in the name!” Owen shouted.  
“Well I don’t think I knew it was bannoffee pie at the time. It was at a work party, back when I was with the Ministry of Defence, they had all this food on a table for people to take as they pleased. I just took whatever looked nice”  
“Wait, Tosh, aren’t you...” said Gwen before being cut off by Tosh  
“Yeah, I vomited in my co-worker’s mouth mid kiss”  
Owen shuddered “Ugh, that’s grim, even by my standards”  
“I mean, it didn’t work out too badly, I woke up naked in her bed the next morning”  
“Oh my god, you puked in her mouth and she still slept with you?”  
“I don’t know how I did it either”  
“Hey, Gwen, you never gave us an answer”  
“Probably the time I got my hand stuck in a banister. I think I was trying to pet a cat. Rhys bruised his bum getting me out, it’s like his arsecheeks were blushing at me”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this isn’t great. This is my first writing fest and artists’ block is a bitch. I went through several ideas before settling on this.


End file.
